How to Tell Your Family You Are Eloping

If you want to elope - I’m sure you’ve thought about how to tell your family you are eloping. Hands down, this is the most frequently asked questions I get from couples.

“We want to elope - but how do we tell our parents?”

Don’t worry. I’m going to walk you through it step by step. If at any point you have questions or concerns about your specific scenario, you don’t have to do this alone, I’m here to support you in any way I can.

My mission is to help you find the confidence to have the wedding you want. I know you can do it!

Take a look at my 7 tips on how to tell your family you are eloping.

How to Elope Without Offending Family

1.

do you want to elope?

Before you tell your family you are going to elope — make sure eloping is what you really want to do.

If you are wavering, it could be easy for someone close to you to change your mind.

You will likely get berated with questions and if you don’t know your “why” ahead of time, it will be hard to explain it to anyone else, especially a loved one.

Don’t tell your family until you know eloping is truly what you want. It’s also a little easier to tell them if you have things booked and planned/set in stone already.

2.

tell the people closest to you first

Remember, you can don’t have to tell the whole world you are eloping.

You may want to just tell your parents, siblings, and best friend. Or you can announce it on Facebook.

However - social media isn’t the way your mother should find out. Tell the people closest to you first and in person. Then decide if you’re going to blast the ‘gram about your plans.

3.

be prepared for their reaction

There is no way of knowing how your loved ones will react to the news of your plan to elope.

Your parents might be excited and happy for you. However, it’s more likely that they will be slightly shocked, a little sad, and maybe even angry.

Do not feel hurt or rejected if their response doesn’t mirror your enthusiasm. This probably isn’t how they envisioned their child getting married. Remember - that’s ok. Because it’s your wedding day.

4.

lead with excitement and have empathy

Your family and friends genuinely want you to be happy.

If you are excited while explaining your elopement plans they will see your enthusiasm and will be more likely to get on board. Show your excitement while explaining the process of your elopement plans.

They might be a little confused about how the process of elopements work. When the questions start rolling in, try not to get defensive, and instead employ empathy.

They are trying to understand what elopements are and how they work. Much like you were when you first started planning your dream elopement.

5.

explain why you want to elope

This is the perfect time to tell them your “why.”

For every couple it’s different. Talk about your why together before you tell your family and friends.

Knowing your reasonings for eloping will make explaining it to your family a whole lot easier.

6.

discuss how they can be involved

Involving your family and friends in your elopement will not only get them excited but they will also feel like they have taken part in your wedding day. Here are a few of my favorite ways couples can include loved ones in their elopement.

• Go dress or suit shopping together

• Pick your flower bouquet together

• Give them a letter/gift to open on your wedding day

• Have them write you a letter to open the morning of your wedding

• Ask if there is a family heirloom you could wear

• Allow them to help in the planning process

• Stick with a little tradition and let them pick out one of the following for you: something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue

• Throw a small celebratory party of dinner before or after your elopement

7.

reassure them eloping is what you want

I’m sure it wasn’t easy for you to tell your family. They may have even tried to change your mind.

However, if eloping is what you and your partner want to do, you owe it to yourself to stand your ground.

Reassure them, then move on, even if they can’t get over it.

It’s your decision. You can have the wedding day you want.